Carlos

Beautiful, but hella lazy, this animal's natural habitat is the hoods of america's most dangerous cities and Five Guys stores. Despite being a lazy and sometimes shy animal, this creature is among the top 10 most dangerous animals in the USA, being the nº1 cause of gang shootings, despite his cousins in his homeland (Cape Verde) being civilized and just lazy and friendly. Carlos is an exotic species to US soil since it was brought in 2010. If you want to lure him, it's very easy : all you need is some bananas and a thick MILF or a glock.

''Carlos just stole my bananas and my girlfriend!!!!''
''I just saw my girl in Carlos's music video shaking her butt''
''Last night I walked in on my mom and she was getting smashed by Carlos''