Dildastic

Of, or, pertaining to dildos and/or phallic objects.

"With their multitude of tall buildings, major cities across the world are quite dildastic."
"I'm not saying that I don't like him, but I wouldn't shed a tear if he died a dildastic death."

Retrosexual

Someone who has many stories or references to past sexual encounters, but nobody can remember anything in recent times.

"David is such a retrosexual"
"How so"
"He's telling his high school sex stories again, even though he's been dwelling on them for years. Why doesn't he at least tell us something new"
"Well, they're all he's got"

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