Luau

Noun: A contrived “Hawaiian” event attended by over weight, average, white people that consume 2x-4x their daily caloric intake in one meal, accompanied by watered down mai tais. This event is often hosted by a Fortune 500 hotel or hospitality type company and pay locals 25% above prevailing wages to hold nose and smile for said tourist that often wear Hawaiian shirts non-ironically.

Hey, the Hilton is hosting a luau tomorrow. I hear they have an all you can eat seafood and pork buffet and fire dancing. Let’s find the shirt that hides my morbid obesity and add to said obesity. I enjoy getting fatter while listening to ukulele.

Family Office (FO)

N. An organization of ultra rich”adult” children, that behave as children, who hire top notch legal, accounting, investment advisors to ensure their heirs do not blow all their pappy’s wealth on coke (some leakage assumed and quietly approved). These heirs believe they work for a living but do not even know what that really is. And they believe they are intelligent, which is a mixed bag at best and even when true wildly exaggerated. The advisors are as advertised, but must comply with one unsaid rule “do not judge or criticize any family member no matter how absurd the behavior or comment.” The pay is generally worth this indignity.

Also, accompanying any proper FO will be a shameless group of investment companies that attempt to suck at the teat of the FO. Family office conferences are famous for the hilarity of investment advisors throwing themselves at barely coherent family members, like drunk fluzies at a rock concert, for a chance to nibble at a bread crumb that said coke head might remit.

Hey, Peter is on stage at The Family Office (FO) Conference in Florida acting like he has any clue what he is talking about. But he did secure co-GP rights on an investment his family doesn’t understand so for the MF win, right.