mouth fedora

If you've googled this phrase in a fit of righteous indignation in defense of your stupid hobby, then I'm sorry, you are one of them, and you can't be saved. You blow obnoxious, pungent, sickly-sweet clouds indoors because "It's okay, it's not smoke!" You spend inordinate amounts of of money on mods and oils for the sole purpose of showing them off to people who really don't care. In any kind of social gathering, you position yourself where you will be the most visible, yet try (and fail) to appear nonchalant and aloof in an effort to attract the curiosity of some poor unknowing sap, or even worse a fellow mouth fedora connoisseur to pollute the air with at double the efficiency.

You vape. We get it, and we hate you.

Bill: Check out this new oil i bought! It's cotton candy flavored! It's really good!

Ted: Could you please not? I'd really rather not breathe that shit, if you don't mind.

Bill: Oh but it's okay, this isn't smoke! Vaping is so much healthier than cigarettes. It has nicotine, but it doesn't have nearly the number of other chemicals so you still get to enjoy smoking without the guilt! Just the other day I dropped $80 on this mod tha-

Ted: I don't care. I just don't fucking care. Take your stupid fucking mouth fedora and get away from me you pathetic attention whore!

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