Conpoy

Derived from ancient Mesopotamian cruniform, the legend of Conpoy is one that lives on in the hearts if historians as well as humanity. Being born at the age of 16 life didn’t come easy to Conpoy. His many learning disabilities caused him to be shunned by Mesopotamian scholars and by extent its citizens. Conpoy had no choice but to escape from the shackles of civilization and live abroad in the wilderness sustaining himself off rattlesnake meat, poisonous mushrooms, and coon-tails. It was in his time away from civilization that he made such unforgettable contributions to the human race such as wheat cultivation, early written language, the hunting yo-yo and the BMX bike. By Conpoy eventually died around 6000 BCE roughly at the age of 18. His husked skeleton was separated and now inhabits the Library of Congress, Mark Zuckerburg’s compounds, and The Vatican.

I’m telling you bro he slurped that rattlesnake up like a piece of spaghetti! He’s a regular Conpoy!!!

Coon-tail

The tail of a raccoon. Think Davy Rocket hat minus the part that goes on your head.

Yeah those little fuckers kept rummaging through my trash cans. Picked em’ off with an air rifle and now I got some fresh coon-tails.