Commander Autopilot

Gay kid from Bergen County, NJ who is obsessed with JFK, thinks Republicans are evil, and is a Catholic fundamentalist freak. Attacks others for no reason. Drives a crappy Geo.

"Commander Autopilot doesn't like girls!"

9👍 8👎

Sweet Stick

lameass sophomore who carries a stick around at a south jersey college.

Sweet Stick doesnt get any!

1👍 5👎

Abominable Trailer

Cranky replusive high school student who threatens those smaller than him but is still constantly mocked. Hated by funny Jamaican Earth Science teacher.

"I almost went blind looking at Abominable trailer!"

3👍 8👎

Naptime

Freshman philosophy class at a South Jersey college which is only occasionally interrupted by the professor giggling to himself.

"Don't worry about your homework for naptime!"

9👍 12👎

The Smoker

Annoying girl who complains of chronic illness yet smokes like a chimney, cries poormouth but wastes money on cigarettes. Hobbies include surfing and defacing signs of able candidates.

"If the Smoker is in such a financial problem, why does she spend half her money on cigarettes?"

4👍 5👎

Hot Potatoes Jim

English teacher with a good knowledge base but who is often diverted by his Lord of the Rings worship and obsession with Hot Potatoes program. Constantly interrupted by chants of "dildo" and "raspberry-flavored monkey jizz" in class.

"Hot Potatoes Jim is making us read all 3 Lord of the Rings Books! Blueberry-flavored horse jizz!"

3👍 11👎

waste

meeting for an hour and a half to discuss whether you are or are not allowed to have shot glasses or alcohol posters in your dorms at a South Jersey college.

"It is a waste to discuss banning Absolout posters!"

7👍 10👎