Texas Smokestack

The combination of 5-alarm chili and stool softener.

I have a feeling we won't be seeing Nick for a while.
Why?
He had two Texas Smokestacks for lunch!

auto stroke

The act of chronic, mindless masturbation.

After watching Wendy do yoga in the yard, I decided to go to my room and put it on auto stroke.

Land-lining

When you purposefully leave your cellular phone at home so that no one can reach you.

"I texted Adrianne a few times yesterday and I never heard back from her."
"Yeah...I think she's been land-lining her phone all week."