Yamaha C3

The worst piano ever made, even by the (exceptionally low) standards of the worst make of piano on the planet. Completely unsuitable for after-school pianoing due to its general badness. Sounds and feels just like a cheap electric keyboard, but costs 10 grand for some reason. Was bought by our school as a replacement for the best piano ever made, a 9ft Challen. No-one knows why.

Pianist 1: I hear you bought a Yamaha C3.

Pianist 2: (Hanging head in shame) Yup.

Pianist 1: Why?

Pianist 2: My other piano was too good...

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pianoing

playing piano in a non-toss-giving way, e.g no scales or similar crapola, just ninjaing the ivories in the lecture theatre at lunch
method for attracting crumpet that attractive but non-musical dudes can't do

Yo Ben what you at at lunch
Just some pianoing

bottom

Savage early '90s British TV show known for mindless violence, usually involving frying pans.
Originally titled Your Bottom, e.g. "Did you see Your Bottom last night?"

Richie: I must be hallucinating.
Eddie: We'll soon find out (Sticks fork in Richie's eye and yanks out again) Now, did that hurt?
Richie: Yes, mightily.
Eddie: Then you're probably awake.
OR
Dude #1: Yo, did you see Bottom yesterday?
Dude #2: Yeah, it was awesome.
(They recite a sketch)

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