saddlebag with eyes

Used to describe the face of a person who through age, weathering or too much time in the tanning salon has become over leathery.

I really used to fancy that check out woman from Tesco's however it appears that she must have bought a sunbed for herself and used it constantly for the past 3 months. She served me the other day and her face was like a saddlebag with eyes.

Doing a Donald

The act of doing something very stupid without a thought for the consequences for anyone else

"hey bro what do you think of someone that may start world war 3 by constantly provoking a deranged nuclear armed dictator" " Well I'd think they were really dumb, and their actions should be described as Doing a Donald!

arse like a rabbit's nose

A way of describing your anus when you've had too much vindaloo and beer the night before

Sorry dude couldn't make it for lunch, got an Indian takeaway and a six pack of Guinness last night and I've had an arse like a rabbit's nose since this morning, it hasn't stopped twitching

quivering like a shitting dog

The term used to describe the state you find yourself in the morning after a night of very heavy drinking

Oh man I shouldn't have moved onto double cocktails after the bar ran out of beer last night, I woke up this morning and I was quivering like a shitting dog!

fart buffer

The wind present in your bowel that stops you from needing a ful blown poo

Last night was really embarrassing. I used my fart buffer up and shit myself on the way to the night club

assgassination

When your using a public loo for a poo and someone goes into the cubicle next to you and does a really nasty loud smelly shit that is so offensive it makes you feel really unwell

I was in the shitters at the metro nipping one off when this guy went in the next cubicle and really dropped his guts, it was loud, splaterry and it stunk, I think it was an assgassination attempt!

facebook night shift

Facebook night shift is what is completed when someone makes many posts during the nighttime

“OMG have you seen how many FB posts Natalie made after we went to bed?” , “Yes she’ appears to have chronicled our entire night out during her Facebook night shift”