Sentient tracksuit

A tracksuit containing an independent consciousness without an owner.

It is purple and black in appearance, and often seen ladened with shopping from Iceland.

The sentient tracksuit has been sighted in town.

Haymaking

In the home, it involves wearing an unwashed rugby jersey to burn food into a frying pan while listening to heartbreak songs. Filling the house with repugnant body odour and flakes after avoiding body wash. Then letting your bowls explode into the toilet after breaking the seat.

Outside the home, it involves constant snap chatting, hoarding information, gloating, sharting.

If any friends shows these characteristics, they are making hay.

Shes been haymaking all day