to pull a Schreiber

to pull a Schreiber, or to make a Schreiber is the art of unnoticed disappearing, vanishing, literally evaporating from a party or other social events in order to obscure the advancing inability of social interaction due to high levels of intoxication, especially to avoid lengthy and awkward goodbyes.

There are three stages of pulling a Schreiber. All of them abide by the same aforementioned principle but they differ in respect of the mastery of execution.

The standard issue Schreiber describes the act in terms that you drop out of the party step by step, conversations become rarer according to the level of intoxication. The soon to be Schreibee will become more and more reclusive and finally pull the Schreiber and leave.

To pull a flawless Schreiber you are required to be a full-blown, all-out party animal, talk to each and everybody all night, nobody realizes how incredibly drunk you are and while everybody else suspects you to be at the john or buy more beer, you pulled a Schreiber and are in fact on your way home, usually unconscious.

The hightest tier of Schreibers is the Ghost-Schreiber. In this case, you are already massively loaded when you arrive at the party. You considered your intake to be still socially acceptable but you realise that you only will be able to slur like Stallone after couple of botox shots in the upper lip. All you do is sneak in, drink a few more shots and then leave as stealthily as you came.

#1 You think to yourself: "Omg, I am so drunk, I can't talk anymore. If I said goodbye now, everybody will try to talk me around. Screw it, I am about to pull a Schreiber."

#2 Hey, where's Steve? - I don't know. - I was talking to him a minute ago, he was so wired all night. - I guess he pulled a flawless Schreiber. - Wow, that's some Covert Ops material right there.

#3 Hey, where's Steve? Didn't he say he wanted to come, too? - Haven't seen him all night. - Hey, check the Jacky bottle, guess he pulled a Ghost Schreiber on us.

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