Onboarding unemployed

Onboarding unemployed: A conditional offer to work for a job but you got fired before you even started.

After doing a finger print a few days later I had to do a wellness and health exam. I ask for special testing accommodations but I didn’t get any answer. I was supposed to get a start date but didn’t receive my onboarding papers. I guess I got “onboarding unemployed.” She told me that they’re no longer hiring.

Homie I O U

Homie I O U: pleading the 3rd to pay or not pay you later…

Text:
Plug: still smoking now or still got the tooth problem?
Customer: (takes a fat rip) “I plead the 5th”
You have what you owe me?
Plug: “I plead the 3rd”

Homie I O U…

County jail brown brief

County jail brown brief: the fresh white underwear that the county gives you to wear along with the blue shirt and pants.

Deputy : everybody line up…

Inmate: everybody get in line.

Deputy: tell them your size and go. Don’t hold the line. Whatever you get you cannot exchange it. Are we clear?

Inmate: large

Deputy: next

Inmate: small

Inmate: yo dept? Can I get a white one. This one is brown

Deptuty: they’re all the same. Next!
Inmate: yo dept. This one is brown. In the middle there’s poop on it…

Deputy: let me see that. Hold it up. Show me. Well what do you know. Next

Inmate: can I exchange it?

Deputy: nope. Wash it!

Inmate: that’s “county jail brown brief”

Jump snot

Jump snot: Jumping and aiming to shoot your mucus into a target.

After trying hard to make a bucket. I landed an elbow to his face. No bucket but made the “jump snot”
What’s that on your face? Mucus

Gopher Whistle

Gopher Whistle: losing control of your butt cheeks muscles even with a squeeze fart will come out.

On my way to the bathroom, I heard “Gopher Whistle” and Whistling Dixie. Proot proot prootootootoooth!

Bakla

Bakla: Backing it up to the person behind you or Pushing your butt closer to the person behind you.

Music playing: that’s my jam. “Bakla” starts twerkin and back it up in front of everybody in a public place.

taryn cycle tank

Taryn cycle tank: after changing the water in your aquarium everyday the nitrate and nitrates cycle because your not suppose to change the dirty filter for the water to cycle.

Your aquarium water doesn’t look clear. It’s because “taryn cycle tank”

but she just did a water change an hour ago.

It doesn’t matter.

She’s a fish expert.