Bitchsicle

Someone with a permanently cold demeanor and a stick up their ass, much like a popsicle.

If their first impression is to tell you everything they hate about everything, they're a bitchsicle.

Cripes, what's wrong with him? Did I say something?
No. He's just permanently moody and bitches about everything; a total bitchsicle. I'm sorry I invited him.