Switch listener

A person gifted at switching from them listening to you to you listening to them.

Noun

1. “I tried 10 times to tell Karen about my new apartment and every time, before I even knew what had happened, we were talking about her problems with her boyfriend. I felt like I was on a bad drug or something.”

2. I know, the girl’s a natural born switch listener

Self-deluded indignation

Becoming appalled and deeply indignant even though completely in the wrong.

Verb

A delusion is a false belief strongly held in spite of invalidating evidence. Self-deluded indignation goes one step further by demonstrating actual indignation towards the person with the correct, sane and rational position.

1. “I told the nurse she’d given me the wrong lab results and she went off on me explaining how she was the trained medical professional and that I was just an untrained layman. The problem with that of course is that she had actually given me the wrong fucking lab results!”

2. “Self-deluded indignation.”

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Self-esteem gap

The gap between the self-esteem a person has and what they ought to have.

Noun

“Shawn’s never received a grade higher than C- in his life but last night he told us he’s applying to medical schools. That poor bastard’s got a serious self-esteem gap.”

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Superdiculous

Praise so utterly underserved that it’s actually ridiculous.

A portmanteau of super and ridiculous

“Dude, did I just hear that right? Did she just tell him he’s “totally awesome” because he remembered to flush the toilet? He’s 22 for god’s sake… that’s just superdiculous!”

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Not from here

The point at which a person is so staggeringly clueless that they’re essentially no longer here.

Adv

1. “Eugene seriously told me he’s not even interested in a job because within 5 years global warming will have killed most of us and turned the rest into cannibal zombies.”

2. “Yeah I heard that too. Eugene’s not from here anymore.”

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Profasia

Having lost the capacity to speak without the constant use of profanity. From “aphasia,” the loss of certain language facilities, usually after a stroke or brain injury.

Noun

1. Man that dude dropped six F bombs in a single sentence! 2. Yep, the worst profasia I’ve ever seen.

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Awesometism

The state of living in your own private world where everybody and everything is “awesome.”

Noun

A portmanteau of “awesome” and “autism.”

I personally counted, in just 60 seconds Lisa used the word awesome 14 times. The poor girl must have awesometism

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