carson

a friend who dresses like a manilla envelope, and is such a caretaker friend. He chefs up whenever you’re hungry and always makes sure you’re well fed. He is the spearhead of the sassy man apocalypse, and he rocks a turtleneck like a German milf. You’d be honored to be his friend. He is brutally honest but always acts out of the kindness of his heart. His kryptonite is a good ole glass of wine.

Yo did you see Carson out like a light with his room smelling like my grandma’s house?

Yeah he’s such a good friend!