Beard

He’s the strong and silent type, is Beardy. Don’t get him angry, though. Very loyal. Definitely a bonus to have him on your side in a fight, I can tell ya. But, really, don’t make him angry! He’ll get all up in your grill and lay down a shockingly filth-laden tirade right out in public. He once told me to, and I quote, “...go get Ape-Raped until you’re rendered into a fuck-stew of effluence and hate...”

And people argue that beards can’t talk!

“I just got beard-slapped by that beard attached to that guy over there.”

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