Bestie

One's best friend, typically someone you constantly give food to

My bestie can't do long distant relationships, I don't think we're gonna be friends anymore, I tried

Equinosexual

A person (he, she, it, them, they) who sexually identifies with animals that are related to or resemble a horse.

As an equinosexual, Tijuana is my favorite frugal summer time vacation spot because of how cheap the donkey shows are.