taintular cystosis

(n.) a condition in which one has developed a cyst on one's taint. Eventually, it will surface and drain, usually oozing copious quantities of thick pus. Trust me, this hurts.

Phil: How's the taintular cystosis treating you, Bob?

Bob: I got that fucker drained, dude. The relief...it was better than sex! And what came out of it...looked like a half cup of mashed potatos!

Phil: Dude....gross.

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Reversible Yam

(n.) The external genitalia of a woman; the vulva.

"Look at the camel-toe of Glennis! I betcha her reversible yam is in need of a good noshing!"

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crotch onion

(n.) an unwashed, smelly ballsack. A person who suffers from is condition may be referred to as an "onion crotch."

Just let Buster get in there and give your nuts a sniff, Nate. He's a good dog, and he sure knows a crotch onion when he catches whiff of one!

As fresh as a stroll on the beach

A phrase used to describe the odor produced by a woman's vagina. This is a polite way of saying that her vulva smells like dead sea creatures.

Doug: I remember the first time I got into Nicole's panties.

Phil: Oh yeah? What was it like?

Doug: As fresh as a stroll on the beach, man.

Phil: That seems to be everybody's opinion of what her crotch smells like. Rotting salmon, decomposing shrimp, with a hint of dead walrus.

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Burgaling the Brown Bagel

To engage in anal intercourse. To penetrate another's rectum with one's penis.

I walked in on Steve and Rodney...it was so sick. They were swapping off on burgaling the brown bagel.

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spontaneous regularity

(n.) diahrrea, often of the explosive and unpredictable sort.

What Donald thought was a fart had turned out to be a bout of spontaneous regularity.

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Yam Hammer

n.) A fully erect penis, usually one of staggering sive and girth.

Suzy gagged on Neil's yam hammer, despite being an accomplished cocksucker.

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