Urban Fisherman

Someone who makes impulsive fish-based purchases.

Mikey: "David... What are you holding?"
David: "A wooden plank with a fish painted on it!"
Mikey: "Why?..."
David: "Cmon dude, you know I'm an Urban Fisherman!"

Mesopotamia

A cute name to call your girlfriend.

Boyfriend: "Hey my Mesopotamia!"
Mesopotamia: "The fuck did you call me?"

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Primark Bag

Someone who is as weak as a paper bag from Primark

Friend 1: *taps Friend 2*
Friend 2: *shreds instantly*
Friend 1: "God, you're such a Primark Bag."

Loft Dweller

An alternative for Basement Dweller for those who lack a basement. Attic Dweller is also an acceptable alternative.

David: "We need to get Mikey out of the loft. He's turning into a Loft Dweller."
Finn: "What can we do? He doesn't have a basement."

Hoarders Law

The theory that regardless of how unorganised a hoarder is, they will always be able to pinpoint where a specific item is.

David: “Hey Mikey, do you have a phone charger?”
Mikey: “Check the second pile on the right down the hall to the bathroom. At the bottom of the pile is an old milk crate with a bundle of wires in it. The USB-C Charger is right at the bottom and the Apple Charger is tangled with an HDMI cable.”
David: “Dude… why would you know that?”
Mikey: “Hoarders Law.”

I kicked a goose

A poor attempt at dirty talk

Mikey: "I've been bad..."
Sharon: "Oh yeah? How bad?
Mikey: "I kicked a goose."
Sharon: "Ya- wait what?"

The Franco-American Offensive

Putting aside all differences in order to pool resources and attack the British

David: "I was down the pub last night and saw an American and a Frenchman having a brawl."
Mikey: "So what'd you do?"
David: "Well I tried to break it up but they beat the shit out of me instead."
Mikey: "Ah, you're a victim of The Franco-American Offensive."