Susie's Checkmate

Everyone knows that when two lesbians, in a relationship, cannot stop fighting over which one gets to be the butch, they have to have a tiebreaker to come to a final conclusion. This tie breaker consists of one Rug-muncher sticking a randomly chosen object into her vagina. After completing this initial act, the other Fur-burger Bandit must repeat the previous Whisker-biscuit Eater’s random act of object insertion. As this tiebreaker continues, the objects become larger, and more obscure, until one half of the “Dildo Duo” cannot totally engulf something the other one did; thus creating a single elimination, one letter game, of Dike Horse.
With that being said…A “Suisie’s Checkmate” occurs when Lesbian #1 offers a medium sized zucchini as her second choice of object, after just completing Round One with a small, but textured, mini Mag-Lite Handle. Knowing that Lesbian #2 will have no problem with the zucchini, but will take her slightly longer to fully engulf, she then positions herself behind the anti pole-smoker, and proceeds to use WWF Super Star Sergeant Slaughter’s “Cobra Clutch” to render her unconscious. Finally Lesbian #1 squats over Lesbian #2’s face, and pees all over her face as hard as she can (female cat style). Thus doing so, Lesbian #1 marks her territory over Lesbian #2, and is crowned the “Butch Dike” of the relationship.

Marla and Janine had been dating for about six months. Their love for each other was obviously undeniable. Unfortunately, the all-too-common lesbian relationship quandary presented itself, and they could not agree on who was the “Butch” of their relationship. Like all female homosexual couples presented with this problem, they proceeded with an Internationally Sanctioned Dover Dual. Unfortunately, what Janine did not realize, was how competitive and cut-throat her masculine, yet quite demure, lover Marla was. Janine proceeded to attempt a medium sized zucchini, when out of nowhere Marla pounced on her from behind and gave her a "Susie's Checkmate" . Nationally criticized Dover Dual Referee Bob Combo ruled it a clean win, and Marla was dubbed “King Strap-On Pitcher” of the relationship. After coming to, Janine stood up (piss dripping off her ear lobes) and realized she was doomed to be the “Rubber-Fist Catcher”, for the remainder of their female fiasco.

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Dirty Bumper Car

When a man is smooshing with a woman in the doggystyle position, she defecates all over his waistline, and he continues to have sex with her; smashing the feces all over the two of them, while ramming each other like bumper cars

After an insane night at the bar, Bob Combo was nailing some strange from behind, when all of a sudden the coyote ugly shit all over his man pubes. Bob contemplated quitting, but instead he just kept on trucking. Ultimately giving the chubby vixen her first dirty bumper car.

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