buggeree

One who is buggered, as opposed to one who does the buggering (a buggerer).

"Alright Kids, I'll race you all to the Neverland sign... Last one there is today's buggeree."

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frothing at the gash

A state of extreme excitement or arousal in a woman, such that she may find herself delightfully moist.

"It gives me great pleasure to declare parliament open... in fact, one is positively frothing at the gash!"

or

"Gold, Frankincense AND Myrhh! You're too kind! I'm genuinely frothing at the gash."

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Laptop

Well OBVIOUSLY its a computer but it also means a woman who is sexy but small of stature and can be easily picked up, moved around, etc, during Horizontal Jogging. Damn! There's another word I'll have to define.

"Dave's girlfriend couldn't reach a high shelf without a ladder and a couple of phone books but he felt it was handy to have a laptop in the bedroom."

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pluffer

One who pluffs uncontrollably.

"I say! Whats happened in here?"

"It's a rich spectacle and no mistake, but then you see, Douglas is a pluffer!"

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pant moustache

Muff spillage. Not so much down the leg as over the waistband. Unruly fanny wire.

"In parliament today, Anne Widdecombe gave John Prescott a lingering Dutch Wink revealing a pant moustache like Noel Gallagher's eyebrow."

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Big Muck

Two flattened turds in a bap, covered in bloody pus and soggy mould, available for purchase at a well-known burger chain. Consumed with enthusiasm by plebs who would eat their own bowels if they were packaged in a gaudy fashion.

"Greetings fresh-faced burger bar attendant. Kindly poison me with a Big Muck, if you would be so kind." - "Certainly sir and would you like some scabby fries with your shit or shall I just puke in your face?"

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wank catcher

A toady, sycophant, crawly person.

"Tonight on Question Time we have big-mouthed fuckwit Janet Street-Porter, grinning geek Professor Steven Hawking and Tony Blair's wank catcher, Peter Mandleson."

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