bird's custard

The thick, creamy sauce that slurps out of a bird when she is aroused (very nice on a piece of apple pie).

"After dinner I enjoyed my aunt's cherry pie with a thick helping of bird's custard"

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rapper's cock

Descriptive of an item that is pungently flavoured with cheese.

"By 'eck Ma, these Wotsits are as cheesy as a rapper's cock!"

or

"I'll have the deep-pan Hawaian please Waitress, with extra pineapple and more cheese than a rapper's cock."

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geordie alarm clock

A fart performed in bed by one's wife/female partner, so loud in volume and pungent in smell that it would rouse even a work-shy geordie from his foul sleep pit.

"Howay Pet! Mind tha Geordie alarm clock. Yor orse has splattered broon allaver me pidjammers!"

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cuntfull

To be truly fed up with something, usually if you are a female.

"Dodi, I've had a cuntfull of that jug-eared husband of mine, fancy taking me for a drive round Paris?"

or

"Listen Kurt, I've had a cuntfull of your miserable songs, why don't you blow your fucking head off with that shotgun!"

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eat me out

To lick pussy in a very deep and thorough manner.

"Listen Johnny, If you don't finish your homework, I'm not going to let you eat me out tonight."

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scouser

As everyone has said, a scouser is someone from Liverpool. Like all cities, Liverpool has its scum but I have to say they were colourful and well-mannered. When I stayed there in 1991 I witnessed a branch of Dixons being broken into one night but the thieves were all very polite. They wished me good evening as I went past and went to pains to ensure I wasn't hit by any flying glass from the window they were breaking. I felt this was a very nice touch.

"Oh no! Someone has broken my car window and nicked the radio! But at least they swept the broken glass up - They must be a scouser!"

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juice

Slang term used by electricians for electric current.

"OK Frank, I've wired up his gonads. Turn on the juice."

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