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When you've been constipated for a few days and sit on the toilet to shit, but are unable to produce a log.
I was sitting on the shitter and things ended with a ghost wipe and a clean flush. That struggle plug almost gave me a stroke!
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When, on the backside of a night of major drinking, you sit down on the commode and use those 8 Coronas to push your wifeâs meatloaf through your balloon knot and into the toilet where it should have gone in the first place. All while having the extruded log going from what looks like old petrified, burnt bark to smooth light-brown peanut butter.
Hey Tom, you having a good day? âMan, Iâm having a shitcessful day!â Oh really? Did you blow out that struggle plug or something? âDude, I reset my bowels to Thursday before my wife fed me a meatloaf that looked like a dead cat. I feel like I can take over the world now!!â
When a man has just pulled up to a urinal in a public restroom and has a gas bubble drop to the back gate at the same time as the flow is about to start. At this moment, a friend walks in and calls you out by name. Now your identity is revealed to others that are in the stalls. With this happening, you can no longer let the brown cloud come flapping out. The only thing you can do is limit the flow with enough squeeze on the urethra that didnâ doesnât compromise the rectum seal.
Fuck man, my boss walked in to bathroom right when I pulled up to the urinal. A gas bubble dropped and I was working the valves to save myself from an embarrassing fart.
When you grab a woman by the pussy and then fuck her in the ass.
"I did something presidential last night." Oh yeah, what was that? "I gave your mom the stormy." You're a fucking banker rim licker. Fuck you!
When you put off taking a shit for so long that your farts go from smelling like typical gas to just pure shit as the air upon release passes over and around a gigantic turd.
Who the fuck just shit themselves?? "Sorry, that was me. It was just a procrastifart. I'm good."