Mr. Crispy

Mr. Crispy is a man who can only be described as a living legend. His sheer agility and overwhelming confidence cannot be matched. Mr. Crispy is rarely seen because he's always two steps ahead of you. All who gaze upon him will soon suffer devastating defeat, of which none can prepare for. He lives in the wind and feeds on making you look like a noob. It is said that the only way to summon Mr. Crispy, though not recommended, is to cook bacon to the perfect level of crispiness and then scream at the top of your lungs, "I am the crispy king!".

Person who sees Mr. Crispy: "Hey! It's Mr. Cri... damn. I just suffered the most devastating defeat."