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An alternative to "whatever floats your boat"
Person 1: "I would love to take a bath in yogurt"
Person 2: "whatever keeps you on the water dude."
When someone tries to make you feel bad for them by making the conversation a competition of who has the worst life.
Person 1: "damn I dropped my nachos. I hate my life"
Person 2: "oh you hate your life? At least your step mom didn't beat you as a kid."
Person 1: "dude that has nothing to do with what we were talking about. Stop tryna pity flex"