shag lag

The effects are similar to jet lag, but on this occasion the overwhelming tiredness is owing to a night full of bollock-draining sex. the following day they can't function properly in every sense of the word.

-Fancy coming with us for a kick about this morning?
-Fraid I can't, mate. I just don't have the energy.
-Suffering from Shag lag, eh?... Lucky bugger.

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massive gay

A dorogative term used with the intention of showing displeasure at the one to whom you are uttering this phrase. This usually refers to the size of their perceived homsexuality rather than the size of the homosexual themself. More often than not, however, homosexuality doesn't actually have anything to do with the discussion. In the same way someone calls another a dick head because they don't like them, rather than the victim of these insults actually having a penis on the upper part of their face, "massive gay" is used with the intention of hurting another's feelings.

-I can't come out tonight. I've got too much homework.
-You massive gay!

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I feel like death

A phrase most appropriately used following an evening of social antics during which copious amounts of alcohol have been consumed. It is usually used to inform others that said beverage consumer has a shit-bad hangover.

Mate, you were wankered last night... you look awful

Tell me about it. I feel like death.

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Bottom face

"Bottom face" is a term that refers to a face that looks, or beholds the equivalent attraction, to that of a bottom. More often than not this rare breed of homo-sapien should be aware its own hideousness, but in the event of a Bottom-Face being ignorant of their unfortunate condition, slap them until they cry.

My God, Susan Boyle has a bottom face.

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the awkward moment when...

How you start you sentence when you're about to recall an event or occurence that was funny, embarassing or awkward. Usually the moment you are recalling is something that has embarassed many.

the awkward moment when... you fart during a business conference and try to cover it up with a cough, but realise immediately and without need to confer, that everyone around you knows you just farted.

The awkward moment when... you make a black joke seconds before realising you are standing next to a black guy.

The awkward moment when... you say bye to someone then you both continue walking in the same direction.

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Chunder chart

A chunder chart is a means by which you convert the act of chundering into a points system. A bog-standard alcohol induced chunder would normally equate to a single point, whilst vomiting into the eyes of your partner during an episode of intimacy could lead to up to a three point penalty. While some people see this as embarassing, others, particularly those of the male variety, deem it a challenge and chunder frequently in the most spectacular of fashions. The chunder chart is highly regarded by students and must always be placed in a position where it is easily viewed.

You chundered on a blind man's dog. Of course it's the full three points on the chunder chart.

How was your chunder?
Worthy of two points.
To the chunder chart!

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chunder lord

Simply meaning the Lord of the Chunder. This is a title normally given to one amongst a group of friends. The Chunder Lord usually acquires their title by chundering in the most extreme of fashions or in the most inappropriate of places. The Chunder Lord can also claim their position by earning the most points on the chunder chart.

She chunder dragoned on her mum, dad and rabbit. I think I can safely say that we have a new chunder lord!

Chunder then wherever you may be. I am the Lord of the Chunder, said he.