office chair ballet

A turning dance performed with the aid of office chairs. May be synchronized with people you work with that you like.

In office chair ballet I can do eleven pirouettes!

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business babble

Language used only in the business world, to add verisimilitude to an otherwise spurious argument.

Bottom’s contribution at the managers meeting was pure business babble: “Only if we focus on our core competencies can be hope to appear impactful to our competitors.”

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reef rash

Abrasion caused by contact with rocks/reef in a surfing accident.

"Dig Bottom's reef rash. He wiped out bad."

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Mill Creek, WA

The world’s best hiding place. You would never go there expecting to find someone interesting. Zero stalkers. Zero paparazzi. Zero vampires.

“I heard Matt Damon bought a house in Mill Creek, WA.”
“Smart move. No one will look for him there.”

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Driving While Gray

A rude and age-ist accusation made by young drivers against older drivers whose speed does not exceed the legal limit.

“Grandma Death’s doing five miles an hour. Oh wait, six now.”
“Clearly a case of driving while gray.”

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spa science

Knowledge or a system of knowledge covering improbable results of spa treatments or the operation of spa logic especially as fabricated for sales purposes and concerned with bodily appearance and sense pleasures.

Electric detox body wrap for weight loss? Sounds like spa science to me!

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preemptive mimicry

When you say something you know will cause your friend to make a face, and you make it first to avert an accusation of mimicry.

“I’m not mimicking you if I pout first.”
“It’s preemptive mimicry!”

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