Ivanka

A physical condition characterised by red, oozing sores, pustules and a particularly foul-smelling odour.

The severed limb was discovered in thick brush, and had deteriorated due to the onset of Ivanka.

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Ewart

A spineless, flaccid individual, usually with poor eyesight, who fancies him or herself a raconteur and general arbiter of good taste, despite the opposite being true. They are particularly fond of earth tones.

The man with the sunglasses and white cane was such a Ewart: he droned on and on about the handsome lines and earth-toned colours of every object he couldn’t see.