Don't ejaculate in my mayonaise and call it special sauce

Expression used when one is ripped off.

Guy: Dude, this ain't coke, it's nothin but baking flour.
Skeazy Dealer: Bullshit. This coke is the bee's knees. I got it from my cuz, yo.
Guy: Listen "bro", "Don't ejaculate in my mayonaise and call it special sauce." You and your "cuz" can go fuck yourselves.

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beanbag

A Mexican Douche-Bag.

Roommate: Hey Jose move your tortillas. So I can put some of my food in the fridge
Jose: Go Fuck Yourself.
Roommate: Quit being such a beanbag Jose.

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