Skank Calls

The things a skank will say to let everyone in the room know she or he will fuck anyone, and I mean anyone, who shows even a little interest. Also the sort of things one would say to attract the attention of a skank.

Common skank calls.

"Who wants to do body shots off of me!"
"Woooo, I'm so drunk, I just want to make out!"
"I don't wear underwear to the bar, it just slows me down."
"You, me, the last bathroom stall on the left, two minutes."
"Your friend is cute, do you two want to come back to my place and tag team me?"

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Hold Hostage

When you’re waiting on hold for someone and know that the second you answer another call or check another line they’ll answer and hang up when you don’t answer right away.

I’ve been a hold hostage for 8 minutes now. I know that if that whore in accounts receivable picks up when I try and answer this other line she’ll disconnect.

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Knocking at the back door

When someone with a hard on grinds it against your ass while dancing, cuddling, spooning, or just standing behind you.

Tanya loved spooning but hated when her boyfriend used it as an excuse to go knocking at the back door all night.

“That guy at the bar was cute but he was knocking at the back door all night on the dance floor and that’s why I didn’t go home with him. Why bring someone home if you know he’s just packing half a roll of Life Savers in his pants?”

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Golden Parachute Punk

A CEO who gets a fat paycheck after running a company into the ground.

Marge lost her 401K and all her company stock was worthless but the Golden Parachute Punk who drove the company into bankruptcy got a severance package of 20 million...the douche.

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flirt and divert

To flirt with someone to get something out of them and then ditching them.

Alicia was an expert at flirt and divert. She'd approach a guy at the bar, flirt with him all night so long as he paid for the drinks, and then left towards the end of the night when he went to the bathroom.

"I'm going to give her a ride home but she wants to stop at the gas station first."
"Dude, it's just flirt and divert, she's done it at every party I've seen her at. She's going to ask you for some smokes and then will run up a huge tab. The second you pull up she'll jump out and run up to her apartment without so much as a thank you."

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Transfer Troll

An asshole who transfers someone to you or another department even though they can handle the problem themselves.

Margo in accounting was a huge transfer troll. She’d send your ass to shipping just so she wouldn’t have to answer any questions about shipping costs that she was entering into the system.

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Spelling Bee-otch

1. Someone who spells their name when they don’t need to, especially if they start using words. The words chosen are usually random or far more interesting than the person.

2. Someone who has a fucked up name but just won’t spell it and expects you to know how it should be spelled.

"My name is Pam Jones....That’s P-A-M....J-O-N-E-S." Said the spelling bee-otch

“My name is Joe Smith...J as in Jammin’, O as in Octopus, E as in Enlightenment....S as in Socialism, M as in Macho, I as in Illicit, T as in Tangerine, and H as in Heavenly”
“Sir, could you stop being a spelling bee-otch for one minute here.”

“My name is Jaxq Villaxiquocal.”
“Can you spell that please, Sir.”
“No, you should know how to spell that it’s a very simple name.”
“Well, if you’re going to be a spelling bee-otch I’m afraid that I just can’t help you today, sir.”

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