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Random
An insult that doesnât sink in for awhile.
When Jasmine figured out that slow burn comment from the girl at the bar, she was so pissed.
Heâs an idiot, you can say any sort of shit to his face and itâll be a slow burn. He wonât figure it out for days.
7255👍 1054👎
Someone who uses a speaker phone to feel like theyâre important or doing some sort of important business even thought itâs for something stupid.
Mike hated talking to speaker phony customers. He couldnât hear half the shit they said and, because they were only ordering pizza, he thought they could just pick up the phone instead of trying to shout at it from half way across the room.
âThat guy was such a speaker phony. He called in to talk about his late fee and was 'too busy' to use the regular phone because he was playing x-box 360.â
2400👍 5363👎
A slut. Someone whoâs taken more loads than a crusty tube sock hidden under a 14 year oldâs bed.
âDonât date her, sheâs a crusty tube sock.â
âIâve known some whores in my day but that guy is the biggest crusty tube sock Iâve ever met.â
15👍 4👎
When texting is done on the toilet.
"He sent me 20 texts today which is odd. He hardly ever texts and said he had the runs."
"I think he was toilet texting you."
"Gross!"
25👍 6👎
A person is whorephaned when they are left behind at the bar while their friend/ride leaves to have a one night stand with a stranger
Tina hated going to the bar with her hot roommate because she always ended up being whorephaned with no ride home by 1 am.
Someone who decries smoking during the day, but at night loves nothing more than a nice menthol.
Kim was a classic Secret Smoker. She would lecture her kids about the evils of smoking all day but, come 2 am, she would sneak behind the garage and relax with a nice cigarette.
14👍 2👎
Someone who spends all their time watching DIY shows, going to DIY websites, and reading DIY books but never actually does any DIY projects to completion.
Maggieâs roommate Sophia is a real DIY Dilettante. Sheâs got at least three dozen half finished projects lying around their apartment and she still hasnât finished replacing the faucet in the 2nd bathroom.
"Honey, you need to face facts. You're a DIY Dilettante and you need to finish at least one of these projects. I mean, how hard is it to finish painting the living room wall?"
5👍 1👎