Wank Marshal

An official, or other duly appointed person, who presides over masturbatory activities in the interests of health and safety. Wank Marshals are properly trained and equipped to ensure safe practice and generally offer a rapid response, aiming to be on-site within 15 minutes. “Assisted relief” is also offered by some marshals for an additional fee.

I think I’ll bash one off... better call a Wank Marshal.

I almost killed myself during an asphy-wank, were it not for the helpful intervention of Sev the Wank Marshal.

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