Bike Nonce

It's time to get this new term, in use around the uk, into the urban dictionary.
A bike nonce is a person, usually a man of a certain age, that takes to dressing in lycra, head cam, bell attached to their bicycle and other accessories while having an over inflated view of themselves, triggered by other road users not allowing them free reign while not paying for the maintenance of the road, but having alot to say about their views, put over as fact, while actively targeting other road users To get off on reporting them for transgressions only a cyclist sees an issue, while ignoring road laws themselves and see no issue in this.
They're not self aware or able to leave others to their lives as they have a "cause" to push and by god they will be heard.

Jeremy Vine became a bike nonce filming from his head cam to gain attention and self importance

A bike nonce is regulary dressed in head to toe in lycra, ignoring red lights and other Road laws however thinks its saving the world by going for a cycle

american football

classed as sport for some reason that isn't understood by anyone not american.

nobody knows the rules

it lasts for 4 hours or more but they only play for 10 minutes all together

players wear enough padding to survive a fall from a plane...

...except for on their legs. in which case very tight spandex seems to be all that is needed

most of the game is spent squatting and yelling until somebody gets frustrated and hurls the ball away

guy #1: i wanna play a sport but i'm to fat and lazy

guy #2: you know what, i could sign you up for american football if you want

20👍 26👎