Cool Tony

A taboo arrangement between two or more men, designed with the intention to provide cooling relief during sweltering weather.

The procedure involves one person providing another with a chilled 5 litre (or higher volume) goon bag of standard "classic" white wine.

The recipient discards the outer cardboard box and proceeds to hold the chilled bladder to their testicles, gooch and vas deferens area for approx 8 to 10 minutes, in an attempt to cool their pipework.
Once sufficiently cooled the recipient commences to shower what is expected to be a cold stream of urine over the other party, rapidly reducing their core body temperature.
It must be noted that no monetary payment is required for a Cool Tony as it is intended and understood that the goon bag of chilled "classic" white is in itself payment for the deed.

It's too damn hot and I'm burning up. Where can a guy get a Cool Tony around here?