honey, I'm home

What a spouse (mainly the husband) happily shouts as they burst through the door after work

Greg: Honey, I'm home! Is dinner ready yet?
Lucy: Not yet, sweetie!

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Exile

When your college roommate keeps you out of the room because they need it for sex

Tommy: dude, it's 11pm. Aren't you going to bed?
William: I've been exiled, man. Trent brought in another bitch.
Tommy: what?! But that's the third time this week!.
William: I know. (sighs)

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