locante

A particularly sneaky Italian man whom enjoys the construction and or consumption of large amounts of fat free meats.
or..
locante (verb) - to sincerely promise to keep a particularly disturbing secret, but then yelling it in a fit of rage across a hallway after an argument.

(verb) Dude, I got totally Locanted today; now everyone knows I think about black weniers...

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guenther

a person or group of persons that experience unfortunate events due to the "force unknown".
or:

the first born offspring of the blue spotted african llama.

Dude, today has been such a GUENTHER!

or:

Your as ugly as a guenther.

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