Advanced Awkward Turtle

Advanced Awkward Turtle

Advanced Awkward Turtle is the next stage in evolutionary awkwardness.
To perform the Advanced Awkward Turtle there are three preliminary conditions you must be sure are in place.
Make sure to find an introverted, lonely looking person. Preferably one that is sitting alone. Also, make sure that he/she has a free hand that is placed on a flat surface, with the palm facing down. Lastly, make sure that the hand is within reach. With these conditions, you are ready to perform the Advanced Awkward Turtle.

First, place your opposing hand directly on top of his/her free hand with your palm facing down and your fingers pointing the same direction. Next, make eye contact as you start to rotate your thumbs counter-clockwise(as in standard awkward turtle). Wait until awkwardness ensues. If awkwardness does not become apparent, follow the next steps.

Decrease the distance between your face and theirs, while increasing the rotational speed of your thumbs.

Advanced Awkward Turtle would be used in these situations.

Billy, the boy who never talks, is sitting alone. Until you walk over and get intimately awkward with him.

A bully is picking on you, so you bust out the Awkward Turtle. A gentle wink thrown in will make sure he will never go near you again.

Works very well in breaking the ice, or annihilate it completely.

15👍 5👎