kashmir cup

A lady with such an expert and delicate fallatio technique, it could be compared to inserting ones penis into a kashmir cup.

Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health and forsaking all others, be faithful only to him, providing kashmir cups on demand to the best of your ability, so long as you both shall live?"

"I do"

3👍 1👎

breathe through his ears

The descriptive phrase for a man who is expert in the art of orally pleasing a lady. He can stay down there for so long without coming up for air.

"I couldn't believe how good he was last night, that boy can breathe through his ears"

28👍 1👎

Dental Surgery

Instant dental work to some mouthy fucker who has got (in a roundabout way) what he was asking for.

"And the Lord proclaimed all who believe in he shall be awarded entry to the kingdom of heaven and sit at his side....but if thy disbelieve in his almighty power the lord shall show his displeasure and wrath with the pox and scurvy and dental surgery"

screw on feet

The trade name, used by Doctors, Anatomists and physiologists, referring to a larger lady or gentleman that has such a high Body Mass Index that the bloody BMI machine won't even read it correctly.
This "fat fucker" demographic tend to develope an unsightly fold of skin at the ankles and wrists that look like screw joints.

Dr "Nurse, who is my next appointment with?"
Nurse "Mr Roberts is here waiting now, shall I send him in?"
Dr "wait a minute, I'm trying to find his file.....oh Yes, here it is....fuck!!! He's the fat bastard with the disgusting screw on feet, isn't He?"
Nurse "Yes he is....ill send him in now"

snapped a quim string

Description of the furious and enraged state of a woman when she can't get her own way

Also known as "throwing a wobbler"

Husband "How is my wife Doctor? The nurse told me she has snapped a quim string"

Doctor "After the news you broke to her about missing your wedding anniversary to go on a fishing trip with your buddy's, I would say Katia is doing as well as can be expected. She has completely snapped her 3rd, 4th and 5th quim strings, 1 and 2 or hanging by a thread. It may be weeks...months even before re-attachment"

1👍 1👎

work it baby

An exclamation of encouragement from a gentleman to a female friend when she is endeavouring to achieve a goal.

1. "Oh yeah! Oh..oh yeah..yeah...yeah..there, yeah...thats right, work it baby...work it..yeeeeaahh!!

3👍 1👎

Got Wood

A term to describe the uncontainable happiness of a human male shown in the proud stance of his genitalia.

"Terry, get your grandad off the dance floor please"

"He's not causing any harm mate, just throwing some shapes, leave him be"

"He's dancing with all the girls and he's got wood, he's gonna take someone's eye out with it"

"Fuck!! Not again"

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