Plymouth Rock

The first shit you take after a large holiday meal such as thanksgiving. Usually unpleasant due to overeating and the volume of food digested in a short period of time. A hard and concentrated amalgumation of holiday foods that may be difficult to expel.

“Im gonna use the bathroom in the basement, I got a plymouth rock from all grandma’s cooking I need to push out and it may be awhile.”

“Let’s hurry up and checkout of our hotel room. I clogged the toilet with a plymouth rock.”

“We’re gonna need an enema for the patient in room 5, they went to the buffet for christmas and need to deliver a plymouth rock.”

Grocery-Sticked

The often unneccessary act of someone placing the plastic divider on a grocery store conveyor belt to seperate their items from yours. Can be used as a metaphor for other situations.

Person 1: “Did you really just grocery-stick me? I have $100 worth of food and your only items are a candy bar and a tv.”
Person 2: “....Uh, I just didn’t want them to get mixed up.”
Person 1: “Never in the history of the world has anyone switched items with another person using a grocery stick because they would still have to pay for it.”

Steve: “Hey man, did you go home with that hot blonde last night?!
Kevin: “Nah man, I got grocery-sticked by her fat friend.”

Stacy: “Did you get Taylor Swift’s autograph?!
Monica: “Fuck no! I got up close when she got out of her limo but got grocery-sticked by three security guards!”
Stacy: “.....sounds hot”
Monica: “No, look it up on urban dictionary .”

Money-Fuck

When you're so rich you can fuck your girl on a pile of money.

Would you like to donate a dollar to dying children today?

No, but when I get home I'm gonna money-fuck my wife.

Popcornussy

A novelty popcorn bucket or container used by theater chains to promote the release of a new movie that can be viewed as sexually suggestive and imagined as masturbation aids.

“Who needs a date when you have the Dune popcornussy? Gonna tame that sandworm like Timothee Chalamet.”

“Yo, put some extra butter in my Ghostbusters popcornussy. Slimer really chafed me last time.”

“Can’t wait to see what the popcornussy for the new Shrek movie looks like.”

Hurricane Dick

When a weather person is showing a hurricane or other major storm on a green screen and standing in such a way that makes the predicted path of the storm form a phallic shape in front of them, resembling a penis.

Bob: Did you catch the 6 o’clock news? The weather guy had a huge hurricane dick going on!
Tom: Yup, looks like florida is gonna get fuuuuucked

Sally: Who needs porn when you can turn on the weather channel and see Jim Cantore’s gigantic hurricane dick?

Quaranteened

When an adult starts acting in a juvenile manner on par with a teenager because of lockdown or quarantine, either out of boredom or lack of accountability.

“Did you see Steve is on TikTok now doing all these stupid dances with the zoomers? Looks like he got quaranteened hard.”

“Since the lockdown, all I do is eat junk food and watch tv. I haven’t showered in a week and the dishes in my sink have been there even longer. Love being quaranteened.”

“My husband is happy being quaranteened; playing Fortnite and CoD all day while I’m at my ‘essential’ job.”

Peanut Butter Knife

The knife you used to make a peanut butter sandwhich that you set near the sink, because you’re not sure if you’re done using it. Can be used metaphorically to refer to something else.

•“Hey don’t do dishes, my peanut butter knife is by the sink. I might be hungry later.”

•“If you don’t want to be friends with her again why don’t you just deny her friend request?”
“Well, I might want to sleep with her again at some point sooo, lol. *shrug* She’s my peanut butter knife.”

“I made sure to leave on good terms with my old job in case I need them to be my peanut butter knife next summer.”