Dirty Valdes

A profane sexual act in which someone inserts their much larger than average sized head into another person's anus.

The coroner concluded that the cause of death was a Dirty Valdes.

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Wokey

Pejorative for a white liberal who uses social injustice as an opportunity to boost their own ego by making self-gratifying posts on social media. Their actions indirectly hinder justice and equality by creating a divisive atmosphere in which peaceful dialogue becomes impossible. They estimate their own intelligence to be much greater than it actually is, making them highly susceptible to the Dunning-Kruger effect. They impose their beliefs on others and attempt to sabotage the livelihood of anyone who doesn’t conform to their ideas that are based in pseudoscience.

Example 1:

Johnny doesn’t realize that his black co-workers get annoyed when he constantly asks to take selfies with them so that he can post pictures of himself with minorities on his Facebook page. Johnny doesn’t get invited to the barbeque. Johnny is a wokey.

Example 2:
Sally read a Wikipedia article about quantum mechanics and now she forcefully brings it up in conversations so that she can talk about it as if she has a working knowledge of the subject. Sally has a gender studies degree and works at Starbucks. Sally is a wokey.

Example 3:
Billy believes that independence, resilience, and ambition are all forms of toxic masculinity. Billy lets a militant feminist destroy his butt hole with a strap-on. Billy is a wokey.

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