Shit Bath

The act of pouring bubble bath, bath salts, or dish soap in the toilet prior to passing a bowel movement. Many people enjoy listening to sounds of nature records while performing a shit bath.

Kelly: "I feel like I have been neglecting my mud muffins lately. My poop has been nothing but good to me and I haven't done a single nice thing back. I'm going to treat the next one to a nice shit bath."
Dad: "Don't use the good laundry detergent."

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Taxidinker

A taxidermy penis of an animal used as a dildo for sexual activities.

Taxidinkers are commonly made from exotic animals such as bears, horses, and dalmatians.

Robert: "Mom laid the cow penis on the kitchen counter when she was cooking last night instead of throwing it out. Yuck!"
Billy: "Butchers don't give you the penis, Robert... That sounds like a taxidinker if you ask me. Your mom is hot."
Robert: "Shut up, Dad!"

Smegmatician

A connoisseur of smegma who is very skilled in identifying, producing, and harvesting the delicious substance.

Tony: "This wine is bland."
Justin: "Good thing you are in the presence of a smegmatician! I have the perfect fresh smegma to pair with this bottle."

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Swahili Chandelier

A sexual technique where a male thrusts his penis through the gauged/stretched earlobes (or any other stretched piercing) of another person.

"My earlobes were stretched to 00 before Randy tried to Swahili Chandelier me. Now I'm at 1" and sport a blowout."

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Poopyrus

An early form of paper made by the feces of Ancient Egyptians with flat, long anuses. Their anuses looked similar to that of a dollar or credit card slot of an ATM machine.

Sean: "I hate when people complain about how many trees are killed to make paper. At least we don't have to use Poopyrus."
Travis: "Is your mom Egyptian? Her anus is ugly."

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Calico Smingsmangs

A variation of the brutal sexually transmitted disease (Smingsmangs) where the functions of the vagina and the anus trade places without physically moving.

Nancy: "Wow Peggy, you have quite a robust queef!"
Peggy: "I would love to take credit for that, but it is actually gas escaping from my rectum. I caught the Calico Smingsmangs while serving time in Vietnam and all of my feces have been oozing from my vagina ever since."

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Glitter Fish

A bowel movement that has been left in the toilet and covered in glitter to create the illusion of a radiant and glamorous fish.

Sandra: "Aw man, I thought I found jewelry in the toilet again but my brother just left a glitter fish floating around."

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