Spaniel Shot

A topless photograph of a girl with particularly droopy bosoms.

Derived from the term 'Spaniels Ears'.

"Oh man, I finally persuaded Jo to send me a picture of her tits last night, turned out it was a right Spaniel Shot, I had to kick her to the curb"

27👍 1👎

Monotone Walk

The slouched over, shuffling, defeated-by-life movement of a diabetes ridden glutton as they put in as little effort as possible to move from point A to point B.

Almost zombie-like in it’s sheer determination to never deviate from it’s original course.

‘Where’s Matt?’
‘He left his desk 20 minutes ago, I saw him heading into the toilets, I’d recognise that Monotone Walk anywhere’

Get Your Hat Blown

To receive oral sex.

Coined by Jonathan Ross’s considerably less famous brother Paul when describing a rather non-PC advert from the 1980’s.

‘I had to buy the other half a new bottle of perfume last week!’
‘So you could Get your hat blown?
‘Exactly! She wouldn’t do it for free!’

Patting Your Horse

Slang term for female masturbation, likening it to the act of patting and rubbing a horses velvety snout.

Sometimes used mistakenly when talking to people who actually own horses.

‘Thanks Boss, give your horse a pat for me!’

‘Erm, Sham, that’s quite inappropriate! Do you even know what Patting Your Horse means?!’

Fartclapper

The Anus.

Often used when telling someone to cram it.

Shove that up your fartclapper!

30👍 1👎

Bevvy

Short for Beverage, usually used to describe alcoholic drinks.

Definitely NOT in any way an attractive/sexy person, despite Lucie from Love Island using it 30 times an hour in a vain attempt to make it stick.

‘Fancy nipping down the pub for a bevvy?’

‘BBQ tomorrow? We’ll sink a few bevs’

28👍 2👎

burger beat

Slang for excessive chest hair sticking out of the top of a semi buttoned shirt.

British English derivative of the South Jersey term Hamburger Meat.

'Look at Will wandering about with his Burger Beat out, I wish he'd fasten that top button up!'