Tiny Trolls

A medical condition in which small, nefarious trolls inhabit the body and attack major organs using knives, daggers or other forms of cutlery. If left untreated, Tiny Trolls will multiply and progress to all major organs — ultimately ending in death to the host. Early warning signs for a case of Tiny Trolls include bloating, sedentary discomfort and finally, the sounds of faint, gleeful laughter from the abdomen as the trolls stab the host’s organs with delight. Major risk factors for contracting Tiny Trolls include poor diet and lifestyle choices — so far, there is no genetic link to the condition. The only known treatment for Tiny Trolls is for the host to announce out loud that they have Tiny Trolls and to curl up into the fetal position until symptoms cease.

“Roger isn’t coming to the company picnic today...he has a bad case of Tiny Trolls”

“Don’t eat Angela’s Christmas ham... although delicious, it gave me a horrible case of Tiny Trolls last year”

“Did you hear? Todd is dead. It was a bad case of Tiny Trolls... ”