deafgifting

The act of bringing a present to someone who has told you that it's not necessary to bring a present -- and especially of the type that they've repeated told you they really don't want/need. (See also "overgifting.")

Every time they come, they keep deafgifting us flowers, despite the fact that I told them they didn't need to bring ANYthing ... AND I'm allergic to flowers.

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atleastified

A process of rationalization that looks for the silver lining in -- or puts a positive spin on -- a negative event.

They got three inches of rain, but he atleastified it by saying, "At least it wasn't snow."

parkoincidence

You're parked in a vast parking lot (shopping mall, sports venue, etc.), and you cannot see anyone else in the entire parking lot. But somehow, just seconds before you get to YOUR car, the driver of the car NEXT to your car arrives (usually with a shopping cart to unload or a baby to put in a car seat), thus preventing you from entering YOUR car.

Parkoincidence is when you're parked in a vast parking lot (shopping mall, sports venue, etc.), and you cannot see anyone else in the entire parking lot. But somehow, just seconds before you get to YOUR car, the driver of the car NEXT to your car arrives (usually with a shopping cart to unload or a baby to put in a car seat), thus preventing you from entering YOUR car.

twitterfication

Writing that may contain typos, misspellings, abbreviations and symbols, some of which is intentional, some of which is accidental -- but "close enough" for the reader to figure it out.

Given the amount of twitterfication, it's clear that no one actually READ the article before publishing it; they simply relied on spell checkers.

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connectaphobia

The fear of not being in constant touch with the rest of the world, usually evidenced by people who are constantly on their cellphone, tweeting, etc.

It wasn't her fault she drove off the road. She was on her cellphone, an obvious victim of connectaphobia.

semi-colonoscopy

Examining and editing text for the overuse of semi-colons.

His writing was concise; it was lyrical; but it had too many semi-colons. It required a semi-colonoscopy.

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Statutory Grape

Legal. A form of vagrancy. Drinking wine in the park and passing out at the base of a statue.

Jack was over-celebrating his promotion and got picked up for statutory grape.

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