OPS

Old Persons Syndrome - a state of being which the afflicted are prone to senior citizen moments. This may include the following: complaining about things that do not matter and will not benefit anyone involved, taking several minutes to count change out of a change purse so it's "easier" on the cashier to ring out, forgetting to give the cashier coupons you had, then making them go through the whole process all over again just to ring them in again, complaining about a piece of technology that they cannot figure out, complaining about and/or denouncing new technology or ways of doing things that make life easier, and several other indicators.

Symptoms may also include constant grumpiness, random moments of cognitive clarity that dissipate as random as they appear, asking questions about some thing that is clearly self explanatory, and constantly showing you things that you've already known for years now.

1. "Why's John bitching about every thing and anything on such a nice day?"

"Oh just ignore him. He has OPS."

2. "I can't get this cordless computer to use the interemnet!"

"It's wireless, you just have to connect to the router. You don't need a cord anymore."

"I liked it better the other way when you didn't have to jump through hoops just to get on the world wide web so just plug it back in!"

"It's better this way...now you can use the laptop all over the house and not just upstairs on the old computer."

"Who said I wanted it in my lap! I like it better on the table!"

"Sigh...Dad you're only 45 and you already have OPS."

3. The following is a real life encounter with a person with severe, non-drug induced OPS:

(Customer walks into a sub shop and walks up to the order line and just starts looking around)

Food Handler "...May I help you?"

"What is this place?"

"....It's Good Subs..."

"What's that?"

".......a restaurant?"

"What's a rashawalt?"

"What?...A restaurant...would you like some thing?"

"What do you sell?"

"......Sandwiches...."

"What kind?"

"....all the kinds that are on the menu up there...or we can make whatever you want..."

"Ok I'll take one."

"....one of what?"

"Sandwich."

"....What kind???"

"What kind would I like?"

"I fucking quit..."

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Sayjin

A morons way of spelling the proper terms of Saiyan (USA) or Saiyajin (Japan).

Moron: "Which Sayjin is your favorite?"
You: "What?"
Moron: "From Dragon Ball Z. The Sayjin's like Goku or Vegeta."
You: "You're a moron who can't pronounce Saiyan or Saiyajin."