aftergloat

The smug, self-satisfied feeling one experiences after:

A: having sex with someone way out of your league.
B: having just had the best sex of your life up to that point.

Man, the house could have been burning down and I wouldn't have given a damn. I was too busy basking in the aftergloat.

16👍 1👎

philostopher

Someone who attempts (often to impress members of the opposite sex/colleagues) to play the role of sophisticated philosopher, but instead ends up becoming lost up his/her own ass, due to being completely out of their depth...

Johnny over there revealed himself to be a true philostopher when he attempted to explain how quantum theory relates to religion. We realized this when he referred to quantum as "something to do with, you know, maths. And stuff".

20👍 2👎

tosswaddler

A bloated, self-important and self-absorbed chump, usually disturbingly overweight and obsessed with masturbation.

Stems from tosser and waddler.

GuyA: See that guy over there?

GuyB: That obese guy following that hot chick around?

GuyA: yeah, the guy playing pocket pool...

GuyB: What a tosswaddler!

skeletext

A short story writing technique that uses the absolute minimum amount of written words to support and convey maximum meaning.

The word stems from a portmanteau of the words "skeleton" and "text", where the 'skeleton' is the minimum amount of support a human body needs, and 'text' referencing the written format.

Have you read those Jimmy TwoTone stories yet? It's as if entire story has been stripped-down to a skeleton made purely out of words; I believe it's called "skeletext".

speedophile

A: Someone who has an unnatural penchant for wearing Speedo style swimming trunks. Usually resulting in them looking rather dodgy.

B: Someone with a large collection of Speedo style swimming trunks.

A:

Guy1: See that guy over there?
Guy2: The one with the handlebar mustache and the supertight Speedo?
Guy1: Ya! Creeepy!
Guy2: Damn, he looks like a Speedophile!

B:

Guy1: Damn! That creep has a different color Speedo for each day of the week!
Guy2: Damn speedophile!

12👍 24👎

choreplay

Foreplay that is not performed out of enjoyment, but rather out of a sense of duty (or entitlement).

I just wanted to get my game on... the last thing I wanted to do was get caught up in choreplay, but damn, she was so demanding.

101👍 122👎

contraceptionist

The absolute opposite of a hot receptionist/secretary.

A secretary so unappealing that not only would you never dare consider risking your job for sexual relations with her, but you're completely put off the entire female gender every time you pass her desk.

The fantasy Jim had been having involving Angelina Jolie, a desert island and a sack of viagra was completely nullified when he walked past his contraceptionist's desk.

14👍 1👎