ned

A ned is a Scottish term for a male between the ages of 8 and 19 who enjoys wearing cheap, usually fake tracksuits, Kappa or Lacoste trainers, white football socks over their tracksuit bottoms, and of course a fake Burberry cap pointed skywards. They may also be seen wearing Helly Hansen of Berghaus jackets, depending on weather conditions.

Favourite pastimes of a ned include smoking anything they can get their hands on, drinking Buckfast ("Buckie") or cheap cider, such as the "White Lightning" crap you can get out of the Spar for £1.50 a litre, starting fights with random people, although never alone, they always start fights in groups ("Crews", "Fleetos" or "Yung Teems"), and shagging the female of the species, coined a "Nedette".

A Nedette is similar to a ned in both attire and pastimes, but instead of a normal Burberry cap, they wear pink Burberry caps, they have around 12 fake gold hoop earrings on each ear, and are usually accompanied by their screaming, butt-ugly toddler, to whom they gave birth at the age of 12.

Traditional Ned Battlecry:
Ned(to passing stranger):"Oi you ya bam. You bein' wide?"
Stranger:"Er......no?"
Ned:"Aye ye are. You deserve a slap"
Ned hits Stranger
Stranger:"What the f*** was that for?
Stranger hits Ned back
Ned(pulling out bread knife):"Me an' ma Crew 'ill f***ing wreck you!"
Stranger runs, pursued by 5 Neds with kitchen knives

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