Wildebeest

A middle of the week, lunchtime date. Generally guaranteed a free lunch and a back rub if you’re nice enough. Given it’s the middle of the week there’s less people out and about thus meaning less likely to be spotted by friends and/or coworkers. The wildebeests emotional state leaves them ecstatic that they’re even on a date in the first place which guarantees they do all the bed work, and will send you home with snacks. Synonyms: heffer, big girl, two legged cow

“He scoured the mall in search of a wildebeest carrying a Torrid bag to sink his dough hooks into.”

“He set his eyes on the wildebeest in the food court woofing down the hotdog on a stick in two bites.”