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Fuckafunction

When everything from your work life, morning rituals, and weekend is compromised. So you yell in it dismay.

Person 1:" My job sucks, they closed my favorite 80s spot that I go to after work, and the Club Houses no longer honor the yearly winners with plaques. My entire week is compromised!"
Person 2:" Man fuckafunction."
Person 1:"fuckafunction!"

by Capuchin for Hire June 27, 2023


Sweatshopped

A photoshop of a picture so well done you'd think the creator took hours, maybe even days making it for the sole purpose of appraisal.

Guy 1: "Man that billboard looks hella fleek; I want me a new Z phone."
Guy 2: It's sweatshopped, the Z phone runs like a pixalated dinosaur. at best."

by Capuchin for Hire December 21, 2021

1👍 1👎


Turd Spawn

When a dude manages to find a monster shit in a public restroom and records it for laughs but it ends up getting the attention of paleontologist who think they can replicate the living organism that birthed the atrocity in a lab. Such organism is known as a turd spawn..

Jeff: Yo you see that instagram video of that monster shit?!
Kyle: Yea apparently they think an elusive cretaceous animal layed it now they are trying to revive a replica with it.
Jeff: Sounds like a Turd Spawn.

by Capuchin for Hire October 2, 2023


one-legged Greg

A male who has either suffered a detrimental leg injury on one leg that impedes his mobility either from scar tissue or because he is missing one leg. The probability of there being a one-legged greg are exponentially higher in the modern day society. The female counterpart is known as one-legged Meg.

Greg:"FUCK! My hamstring just locked up, help a brother out."
Jeff: " No problem one-legged Greg, on it!"

by Capuchin for Hire March 9, 2023


craiglist mercenary

Someone who's employment has been mostly if not all through craiglist and is on a constant lookout for better job listings , potentially exceeding that of Johnny Sins.

Person 1: Yo bro how do you know so much about plumbing and electronics, why are you still here?
Person 2: I've had a lot of previous jobs through craiglist, I've been a plumber,butcher,machinist,warehouseman,undertaker, trucker, and phone repairman. I'm just here holding out here for the next job... you could call me a craiglist mercenary.
Person: Dam! A life well lived.

by Capuchin for Hire January 12, 2023


fourth-dimensional vampire

A fourth-dimensional vampire is someone who lives in a different timeline and only seeks to further their agenda, often times only appearing to vibe check unsuspecting people engaged in a different activity.

Derek:"Dam I can't believe Steven just dropped by to laugh at me playing cards at the local casino."
Josh: "Doesn't that dude have gremlins now? I haven't seen him since we graduated highschool 10 years back."
Derek:" Yea he hasn't changed much, he really is a fourth-dimensional vampire."

by Capuchin for Hire June 21, 2021


Dreamshook

When you lucid dream and die, waking you up because your brain can't process the death from the hallucination-like dream.

Person 1: Last night I had the sensation that I fell 90 feet from the sky and hit the floor.My heart was pounding when I woke up.
Person 2: You are dreamshook.

by Capuchin for Hire September 11, 2022