penis extension

n. Colloquialism referring to the Hummer H2 SUV. It is an established fact that feelings of inadequacy contribute to the purchasing, driving, and flaunting of one's Hummer.

Brad W., a 24-year-old jock who has trouble charming the ladies with his drunken partying, got his dad to buy him a brand-new yellow and chrome penis extension from the local GM dealer. Way to go Brad.

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dear leader

Proper noun. Personal epithet associated with either of two autocratic heads-of-state: Kim Jong-Il (N. Korea) or George W. Bush (United States).

"The Dear Leader spoke to the assembled farmworkers today, thanking them for being the pillars of this great and prosperous nation and exhorting them to even greater achievements, on pain of death by firing squad."

"Colbert spared no mercy for the tender feelings of the Dear Leader at the White House Press Corps dinner, but miraculously he has not yet been put to death by firing squad."

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packing

Adj. (gerundive form, by ellipsis from "to pack heat") Carrying a concealed firearm.

Son, you keep away from dat nigga Rakwan, you heah me? The foo' be packin' and he might just up and cap yo trash-talkin' ass one these days!

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redneck truck

n. A large American pickup truck owned and driven by an ignorant male redneck. Such a truck will have one or more of the following characteristics:

(1) Is used primarily for general personal transportation and not for heavy hauling.

(2) Equipped with a gun rack

(3) Bears red-white-blue ribbon stickers, yellow "God Bless the Troops" ribbon stickers, Confederate battle flag stickers, pissing Calvin, or other stickers such as "God Bless America," the NRA, George W. Bush, "Death to Faggots, Ragheads" and similar Christian themes, etc. May be adorned with a Jesus fish, although this symbol is more frequently associated with the soccer mom's minivan or SUV.

(4) Driven aggressively and in a manner overtly hostile to non-redneck vehicles.

(5) Equipped with prominent CB antennas or, increasingly, amateur radio antennas.

(6) Is the redneck's most prized possession, after his woman. Even his home has lesser personal and monetary value. The 'neck will take great pains to wash and wax his truck.

(7) Psychologists agree that perceived penile inadequacy motivates the purchasing and flaunting of this truck. The driver often seeks to affirm his masculinity by driving the gas-guzzling vehicle as often as possible and frequently with no particular reason.

Every morning, Joe drove his redneck truck to work at the peanut factory, and every evening, Joe drove his redneck truck to night school where he was finishing his GED. Every Sunday, Joe drove himself and Winnie-Mae in the redneck truck to the First Baptist Church and in the evening to the KKK barbeque.

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ETS

n. (Educational Testing Service) A white-collar corporate gang in Ewing, New Jersy, headed by Kurt Landgraf. They peddle the SAT and GRE assessment products on the street to vulnerable youths who don't know how to say NO. A greedy parasite that should be eliminated for the betterment of society. See also: Tollbooth on the highway of education.

Those poor students had to pony up $115 to the ETS in order to get admitted to college.

"We da ETS, we be hangin' wif da Kurt-rock, and we be all up in your shit if you don't pay us your protection, FOOL!"

Kurt, I'm gonna bring my posse up on ETS turf and get me a goddamn refund one of these days CHUMP!

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neckitude

n. The propensity to exhibit attitudes, behaviors, or mannerisms associated with the common redneck(Ignoramus americanus).

"On the drive over here, a trucker on the Interstate hurled a beer can full of urine out his window--talk about sheer neckitude!"

"Crikey, this breeding-age male specimen is just bristling with neckitude kids! You can tell just by looking that he was born and raised in West Texas, attends a Creationist Baptist church, and voted for Dubya. The plumage is another feature we should not ignore: note the mullet and the Confederate battle flag on his trucker hat. Awwww, I think th' bloody brute's got a shotgun! Let's get away before he tries to defend his territory."

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Chicago Typewriter

n. A Thompson submachine gun, as used by Prohibition-era gangsters. So-named because the sound of a Tommy being fired in the distance resembled the sound of typing on a typewriter, and because the weapon was in popular use throughout south-side Chicago in Al Capone's day.

Vinnie always wrote his enemies on a Chicago typewriter.

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